One of those days

Do you ever have one of those days where you feel like a horrible mother, a horrible wife, and a horrible friend? That was me today.  I mean really I feel like sometimes all I do is nag Chris about things like putting his dishes in the sink, helping with Ollie, letting the pugs out, etc. etc. etc.  I just feel like sometimes I'm the only adult manning this Johnson ship and sometimes it gets e.x.h.a.u.s.t.i.n.g. and then I feel bad because without Chris working 80 hours a week and earning money, I wouldn't be able to stay home and fret about things like dishes, laundry, the dog smell I am constantly battling and never quite winning, and of course Oliver.  (insert guilt about less than perfect wife-ing here)
And then I feel horrible about needing a break from Oliver sometimes.  I love him more than anything in the world but sometimes I need a short recess from the constant screaming.  I tried going to the gym which didn't work and at our last (and I do mean LAST attempt, I cancelled my membership but those pesky 30 day notice periods have me paying until May 4) I made it far enough to clean out my locker before the girl at the front desk asked if I could hear him screaming in the day care room.  I sighed heavily, probably mumbled some expletive and went to retrieve my red, hysterical, gasping child.  I apologized to the daycare worker and she in turn apologized to me for "having such a difficult child."  Great.  My child is difficult. Good thing this daycare thing is optional and I'm not working or else who knows what we would do. He proceeded to whimper the entire ride home.  Then there's the times where he is crying for who knows what reason and I in turn sit and cry because well because my child is screaming, has been screaming and I cannot get him to stop unless I hold him 24 hours a day.
Aside from the lack of sleep the biggest change I've noticed since becoming a mom is the lack of freedom I have.  I notice all too quickly that my lovely husband does not suffer this same lack of freedom, he can workout, sleep, go places including but not limited to the bathroom, have adult conversations, without batting an eyelash.  I quit my gym, when I do workout it's to the noise of Ollie screaming because no, I'm not currently holding him, and my shower today consisted of rushing through everything because again Ollie was sitting in the bathroom screaming.  As I was babysitting a couple weeks ago, I came across the dilemma of having to go to the bathroom while simultaneously supervising Ollie and a band of brothers aged 2,4,6, and 8.  I tried to go as quickly as I could while holding Ollie in one arm whilst the 2 and 4 year olds burst into the bathroom wanting to know just what I was doing. Ah, freedom.  (insert guilt about less than perfect mommy-ing here).
And then there's the friend issue.  I literally feel like a horrible friend.  Most days I think about calling a friend to catch up and then collapse in a heap of exhaustion/laundry/dishes/etc. and think I'll have time tomorrow to do it. Wrong again. I also don't know if I've had any substantial conversations that don't revolve solely around children/child rearing/etc/etc.  (insert guilt about less than perfect friend-ing here).  
End rant. (insert conglomeration of guilt here).

Mommy Moment #1036 or why coupons can in fact be bad

So I'm sitting on the floor looking through coupons (one of my favorite past times which I realize typing this makes me sound super interesting) and Ollie decides he wants to help.  I give him a page of coupons to play with because he loves paper.  I look away for a second only to hear him coughing and gagging.  I have to wrench the wet, shredded paper from his clenched fist as he begins to throw up on himself, his blanket, and the floor.  I of course try to immediately call Chris, whose phone has been off all day, with my unreliable POS droid that prides itself on not working at the precise emergency situations I need it to (rewind to Ollie's first big trip when he is 6 weeks old and we get rear ended in the suburbs).  I page Chris twice as Ollie continues to vomit and decide that yes, I will call Dr. Wheet.  The doctor recommends letting him vomit it up because he has to get it out of his system and I feel horribly negligent for letting my infant play with something that will inevitably be put in his mouth.  He is currently sitting in his high chair  kicking happily and squealing.  Crisis averted.

Was this the first time today I encountered vomit?  Why no, no it's not.  I was woken to Bruce puking the bed.  Rewind to yesterday at noon when he saw a meter man in the neighbor's yard and decided to jump over the couch and hit the Exersaucer on the way down.  He yelped and immediately started hopping around on 3 legs.  The vet said he didn't hurt anything but did give him a nice little NSAID.  He is on cage rest for 5 days and well, being a doctor's family of course we follow all doctor's orders to a T.  I slept with him in our bed only to wake up to the poor guy vomiting up what looked suspiciously like his painkiller.

The Chris Johnson Workout Plan

Tanner is adjusting well to the Johnson household.  It's been a little over 2 months since he came to live with us and a lot has changed.  He no longer pants and paces the house and I think he realizes that this is his new home.  He quickly caught on to eating in his crate like the other boys and has started sleeping on anything that is on the floor (his blanket, Oliver's play mat, any blanket I put down for Oliver, towels, etc. etc.)  Sometimes he sleeps in bed with us but most nights he is content to sleep on his towel on the floor next to our bed.  He had a dental cleaning and two teeth had to be removed but it didn't even faze him.  The vet thinks he probably sees very little given how he responded during his vision test (I guess they put their fingers really close to their eyes and see if they flinch/have a menace reflex which he didn't) and he runs into me/stationary objects about 3 times a day.  The best part?  He came to us weighing 24.4 pounds and is down to 21.2 pounds thanks to the Chris Johnson Workout Plan (which equates to nightly walks when Chris isn't on call).

I spent a good part of my day telling Tanner and the other 2 boys "don't sit on the baby," "don't lick the baby's mouth," "Oliver can't pet you he's too young" etc. etc.  Ollie loves all the boys and smiles and squeals at them which makes all the not so fun parts of dog ownership worth it.